“she is so clingy” “is she ill”

In the last couple of days Oswin has really been suffering from her 1 year jabs that she had last Tuesday . She has had a temperature that won’t shift, won’t let anyone touch her when she is upset and has clamped herself to my boob until she gets removed when I need a wee!

It’s made me think about how attached she is to me and that a lot of the time she only wants me, nanny can no longer settle her to sleep to give my arms few minutes rest.

I have been thinking how, occasionally,  I see this attachment as a negative and actually the more I thought about it, society does too. I never hear “oo she’s so clingy she must be ill” when Oswin wants a daddy cuddle, it’s usually “ahh she’s a daddy’s girl” or something positive.

So why is it then when she only wants me for days at a time I look for a justification for it? 

Is she teething? In a leap? Did she have a broken night? Is she over tired

Does anyone else find themselves checking a temperature to explain away their child wanting a cuddle? 

It upset me when I realised that I don’t seem to embrace her love for me and enjoy it. Oswin is so full of love and physically very affectionate, she wakes up full of love some days and goes between me and Matt giving us kisses and stroking our hair. It is adorable and what I always wanted when I pictured being a mum.

When I had Noah, I used to cry that he was not very affectionate towards me and fell asleep on nanny or daddy much easier than he did me. I think it’s probably how winnie came about! I didn’t have my mummy need forfilled by a snuggly baby. So how awful is it that I have one here (currently asleep snoring on me) and I have to keep reminding myself that it is a wonderful thing that she loves me this much.

The last couple of days I have stopped letting myself look for negatives or justifications for Oswin being a boobaholic and a ‘mummys girl’ and actually just let this little munchkin have all the kisses and comfort that she needs. 

It’s bloody tough being a mummy sometimes, especially when you look around at all the washing, tidying and other things that ‘need’ to be done. It’s really tough to not get frustrated that this little person needs you more than the washing pile and when she cries when you attempt to walk away from her. 

Give those clingy babies an extra cuddle tonight, they won’t be this little ever again. Tomorrow they will be a little bit bigger and a bit less attached. It goes too quickly and then you want another one! Quick cuddle them! 

When people say you shouldn’t Co-sleeping or baby wear for whatever stupid reason they made up. This is worth more than any stats they think they know. We are not ‘making a rod for our own backs’ or making babies too dependent on us, we are doing the most natural thing and loving our babies in the most natural way. #wearallthebabies #babywearing #tula #connecta #parenting #parentblogger #everyonehasanopinion #mummyblog #mumlife #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #bestforbaby

Today I carried Noah in the Tula for the first time in a really long time! Being pregnant with Winnie and generally a feeble mess since then meant he was just too heavy (and he is almost half the size of me!) I decided to take him for a ‘tula cuddle’ to calm him down a bit before bed as he was just getting too crazy for my liking.

I adore how his face lit up when he saw me putting the tula on, it has been such a long time since it was just me and him without a bump or a little sister. He happily jumped up and gave me a cuddle.
We just went for a little walk around the block, sang some songs and I silently resented how big he suddenly is.

I said I love you so much and he looked at me, squeezed me with his suddenly strong arms and said “I love you soo much mummy”, he did a little sigh of relief and put his head on my chest. I had to stop myself from being a big emotional mess and crying. Where has my little baby gone!?

I looked through Facebook and found lots of photos of our baby wearing journey, it is by no means nearing it’s end but it has certainly slowed down. I will carry him forever in many ways but for now the most obvious one will be in his day of the dead tula, while he will still allow it.